natashamuse

Honey or Tar by CocoRosie

2009-09-10T17:31:22Z

Undressed you with my eyes I have
Maybe even raped you
In a dark and eerie corner of my mind
I tucked you there
And touched you in a dream last night
Pushed you aside when you entered
My thoughts at the wrong time
I have sat up upon your lap and
Saddled my thighs around your hips like ropes
I rode you on a chair and in the shower
And all the while I clung heavy to your back
My desire deeply harnessed in your spine
While I squeezed you like a tree trunk
You may have been one
Sexless and comfort in your mind
Even barer than a childs
I’m riding recklessly through a thick and humid
Jungle growing anxious with the primal
Yearning that stirs
Deeply pulsing up toward the surface
Like sap rising or honey or tar

(Confusion/Experimentation)

natashamuse @ 2009-01-21T15:45:00

2009-01-21T23:47:28Z

Met a dancer
Who was high in a field
From her movement
Caught my breath on my way home
Couldn't stop that spinning force
I felt in me
Everything around seemed to giggle glee
She walked up with a flower and I cared

Saw the dancer
Who gets wild to the beats of record rhythms
But I'm always away for weeks
That pass slow my
Mind gets lost
Feeling envy for the kid who'll dance despite anything
I walk out in the flowers and feel better
If I could just leave my body for the night:

Then we could be dancing
No more missing you while I'm gone
There we could be dancing
And you'd smile and say, "I like this song"
And when our eyes will meet there
We will recognize nothing's wrong
And I wouldn't feel so selfish
I won't be this way very long

To hold you in time
To hold you in time
To hold you in time
To hold you in time

While we were dancing
Early hours
Drunken days finally ended
And the streets turned for a pillowcase
Then I fumbled our good lock
Then the ecstasy turns to rising light
Through our windowpane
Now I'm gone
I left flowers for you there

I miss so many moments.

natashamuse @ 2009-01-14T16:14:00

2009-01-15T00:14:17Z

exciting things are brewing in good ol' santa cruz :)

natashamuse @ 2008-10-13T12:27:00

2008-10-13T19:36:27Z

I got into Santa Cruz and I am dying to move. I am constantly afraid to get comfortable again. When I am happy and feel like things are going well my subconscious reminds me of what reality is. My dreams torture me in the early morning making it apparent that things are not the way that I want them to be. I know I am going to hurt again. I just hope that I can avoid it before I move. After all it is only 2 months away. It shouldn't be so hard to pretend for that long... I hope you can do it.

pregnancy

2008-08-04T19:05:38Z

Lately I have been having dreams that I am pregnant. This made me feel really weird so I decided to look up the meaning of being pregnant in your dreams...

Dream Meanings - PREGNANT
To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.

Turns out it may be more positive than I thought!

Animal Collective

2008-07-09T03:54:03Z

They put me into a higher state of euphoria

natashamuse @ 2007-10-30T16:16:00

2007-10-30T23:17:20Z

I WILL BE MOVING TO BERKELEY IN DECEMBER!

school

2007-08-25T02:41:20Z

school starts on monday this semester im taking speech135 art100 phil102a and cultural anthropology. im not really sure how im going to get to and from but i guess i have to figure it out theres a bunch of shows i want to go to in the next 2 months so i need to come up with some money so i can go to them!

natashamuse @ 2007-08-01T16:58:00

2007-08-01T23:59:22Z

so ive been losing a friend and its really done and he doesn't give a fuck

friends are not family

2007-07-26T01:10:58Z

i need to learn how to be alone

natashamuse @ 2007-07-11T23:53:00

2007-07-12T06:54:05Z

i need to stop

natashamuse @ 2007-05-19T00:18:00

2007-05-19T07:19:50Z

so i have just decided that im going to postpone moving out so i can
a) buy a camera
b) buy a harp
c) pay off bills

life shall be interesting.

natashamuse @ 2007-05-13T19:23:00

2007-05-14T02:27:13Z

hmm schools almost over but im taking summer school so it doesn't really make a difference. work is pretty lame but i make decent money. Ive been searching for a new apartment but haven't been stressed too badly about it. Ive just been surrounding myself with friends and trying to have as much fun without losing the other important things in my life. lifes looking up but still pretty stressful. My dads coming in town for a week which will be pretty cool. Im getting tattooed tomorrow which im not looking forward to but you know

natashamuse @ 2007-04-22T23:41:00

2007-04-23T06:43:09Z

so dj and i broke up shits hard im moving back home tomorrow theres talk between me edgar greg and christian about an apartment but its probably a bad idea i dont really trust anyone but living at home is going to suck. i dont even get my room back i get to sleep in my sisters old room that is filled with her shit

AHHHHH FUUCK

natashamuse @ 2007-04-17T23:33:00

2007-04-18T06:35:00Z

maybe i can be strong
or i can at least pretend to be
maybe it will turn into real strength
life will go on

natashamuse @ 2007-04-17T19:48:00

2007-04-18T02:49:17Z

I want to get an apartment in OB or downtown area if anyone is interested let me know i need to find a reliable roommate thats a hard task these days

natashamuse @ 2007-04-16T23:25:00

2007-04-17T06:25:37Z

life sucks. i need to find somewhere to live soon.

natashamuse @ 2007-04-12T11:20:00

2007-04-12T18:22:13Z

things are getting a little better. I quit my job so that i can try to get over being sick and i start at home depot around the 21st. Im trying to focus on school and myself. Im really scared to get too comfortable again.

natashamuse @ 2007-04-08T12:37:00

2007-04-08T19:38:35Z

my life is falling apart

natashamuse @ 2007-03-03T20:00:00

2007-03-04T04:02:12Z

im tired, all i do is work and go to school, i need to hang out. life is becoming too mundane

natashamuse @ 2007-03-01T09:47:00

2007-03-01T17:48:27Z

Last night i slept from 5:30 pm until 9 am what the hell?! 15 and a half hours of sleep i guess i needed it

natashamuse @ 2007-02-18T22:43:00

2007-02-19T06:43:33Z

someone be my friend

natashamuse @ 2007-02-16T18:20:00

2007-02-17T02:24:34Z

Today I got more of my tattoo done it was just this shading type stuff as the background/leaves its hard to explain but it didnt hurt too bad and i had a good state of mind so i got through it easy. We wanted to do more, parts of the flowers but financially it couldnt be done. But i am really relieved that it wasnt bad at all compared to last time. I also got my hair cut and i like it a lot. I havent had it cut in a long time and i just didnt feel like cutting it myself so i forked out the money. School is going pretty good except for my psyc class its pretty boring, well the teacher is at least. Hmm what else, work is good i got my first check today :) I saw my dad today for about an hour and it was extremely awkward i dont know why i just felt like we were complete strangers. Well its friday night and dj will be home soon so i will be on my way :)

real life has begun again

2007-02-07T03:51:26Z

So school started yesterday it seems mostly good its kind of a long day but its only mondays and wednesdays so its pretty doable I am take 5 classes:

philosophy 100: critical thinking- seems good, the prof. is cool
astronomy 101-boring
human sexuality with dj should be fun
contemporary social problems-will be interesting
psychology 101- one of those basic classes everyone takes but seems good

so i go to school from 9:30 to 6:30 and plan on working hard to make up for last semester and dj goes the same time too so we can carpool and make it easier to wake up in the morning :)

I had my first day of work today that was not orientation. Im a ralphs employee but working in the coffee bean so its a good deal for me. Today we just went over all of the drinks and made all of them it was way too easy and quite boring and a waste of drinks to add to it but i suppose it had to be done.

Well things are looking up school, a job, a new place, tattoo is about 1/2 done, and im getting along better with my mom but i dont know.

LETS HANG OUT!

housing

2007-01-07T00:07:46Z

Does anyone have or know someone that has an extra room that dj and i could rent or stay at please please please let me know thanks :)